Kooky and Moody are two two brothers who live in my building, Kooky is almost 20 years old while Moody is almost 8 years old. Kooky used to be a spoilt brat. I have to say that it was his mother (who I am actually writing this post about) who spoilt him; she, like many careless mothers, did not teach him discipline and allowed him to do whatever he wanted. Ten years ago I usually heard such a conversation between Kooky and his mom.
Mom (standing in the balcony): Koooookyyyyyyyyyy
Kooky: aywa ya mama (yes mom)
Mom: 2etla3a ba2a el sa3a (come back home its late).....(usually after 11 PM)
Kooky: bla bla bla (asking her to stay with his friends for a while)
Mom: ba2olk 2etla3 (I said come back home)
They kept arguing for a while, till Kooky was forced to return home. Of course Koky was careless at school, he did not do his homework and sometimes failed to pass his final exams (beygeeb mala7e2), so he had to study during the summer vacation in order to take the exams once more. Sometimes the mother asked me to give Kooky some help with his studies, in order to get prepared for the second exams. Kooky used to come to my plcae with his books and I started to explain some English and Mathematics for him. I have to admit that the kid almost knew nothing about the lessons I started to explain, as if he did not go to school for the whole year. I wanted to help the kid and thought that if I gave him some help he might show any progress. After each visit, I gave Kooky some homework and told him I will review the homework next time.
One day kooky's mother called my mom to thank her for helping Kooky with his lessons and she told her and the call went as follows:
Kooky's mom: Kooky beye3mel wageb el Math (Kooky is doing his Math homework now)
My mom: tayeb kowayess, wel masa2el sahla 3aleih we 3aref ye7elaha?(And how is it going?)
kooky's mom: aho masek el calculator we 3amal ye7seb (He is using the calculator to solve them)
After the call with Kooky's mother, my mom told me that the kid used the calculator to do his homework which really surprised me. How could a mother do this? How could she allow a 10 yeras old kid to use the calculator to solve his math homework? Didn't she realize that she was following a wrong strategy with him so that he failed his exams? Didn't she learn the lesson? Did she eralize that she was spoiling the kid? I kept asking myself such questions and found no answer to any of them.I really can't remeber what happened next; if I blamed Kooky for using the calculator or what. All I can remember that Kooky stopped visting my place shortly after that.
Years passed and Kooky showed kept struggling with his lessons, in high school he did not get good grades so he was not able to go to college and he ended up working in a factory that belongs to his uncle.
A few days ago I heard the following conversation between Kooky's mother and Moody, Kooky's younger brother at 1 AM:
Mom (standing in the balcony): Moooodyyyyyyyyyy
Moody: aywa ya mama (yes mom)
Mom: 2etla3a ba2a el sa3a (come back home its late)
Moody: bla bla bla (asking her to stay with his friends for a while)
Mom: ba2olk 2etla3 (I said come back home)
"Oh my God, not again", this is all I could say. It seems that the woman is repeating the same story all over again. This woman's attitude made me ask myself this question:
If having an abortion is considered a sin in many religions and is forbidden by many countries, what about having children ,not bringing them up properly and spoiling them so that they become murderers, drug dealres, rapists or simlpy losers that don't do any good to anyone?
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
The Others.....Two Incidents
A few weeks ago the following conversation took place between my friend, who had been to USA for a short while, and me:
X: When I was in USA everybody kept asking me "Do you have kids?"
Me: And what did you answer them?
X: I just answered "No, I'm not married yet"
Me: According to their culture, marriage has nothing to do with having kids.
X: 2e7na ma3andenash el kalam da (our culture is different).
Me: yes I know, but your answer did not make sense to anyone who asked u this question.
X: ana 2olt ely shofto sa7 we 7'alas (I just said what I thought is right).
This short conversation made me think for a while why we don't accept the others' cultures, beliefs and opinions if they are differnt from what we think is right. If I were in X's shoes I would give a simple "No" as an answer. Someone asked me a simple question and I should give a simple and relevant answer. It's not a debate about different cultures where I need to point out that WE are better than YOU because we have our customs and traditions that forbid having children outside marriage.
These thoughts revisited me after watching some random episodes from the Egyptian soap opera "Nostalgia- 7anan we 7aneen". I did not like the show anyway, but what really drew my attention is the idea of comparison between the American and Egyptian societies. The first few episodes started in USA where an Egyptian family of a man, his wife, his daughter and his brother in law moved to the USA twenty years ago. Througout these few episodes, the show makers did everything they could to show how terrible the American society is; how people only care about money and don't care about their families. It's been shown that it was not safe to have walk in the streets as the daughter and her friend were attacked by two guys who tried to rape them and they were saved by the cops who arrived in the last moment. The idea that life in the USA is terrible was summed up when the mother died when a bomb exploded in her restaurant (this happened shortly after she had given up her Egyptian nationality!!!!!!!).
After this accident the father takes his daughter and returns back to Egypt where life is totally different; people are so loving, nice and welcoming that their neighbours brought them "saneyet basboosa" (oriental desert) as a nice gesture on their arrival. All the following episodes kept exploring the fact that life in Egypt is much more safe, nice and full of deep meanings.
I am totally against the concept of generalization; that all other foriegn socities are bad and that our society is the best ever. I also think that this show is not real, for example these days if I moved to a new building, none of the neighbours will bring me a desert and to be honest if we got some new neighbours my mom will not bring them a desert. Many people say it is a romantic show which brings back some nice feelings and I say it is a fake show, anything that does not reflect reality , unless labeled "fiction", is fake for me.
I guess what really our TV shows should address is how to respect the others, how to accept them and how to learn from them what makes them succeed and excel instead of wasting our time crticizing the others and bragging that we are the best ever.
X: When I was in USA everybody kept asking me "Do you have kids?"
Me: And what did you answer them?
X: I just answered "No, I'm not married yet"
Me: According to their culture, marriage has nothing to do with having kids.
X: 2e7na ma3andenash el kalam da (our culture is different).
Me: yes I know, but your answer did not make sense to anyone who asked u this question.
X: ana 2olt ely shofto sa7 we 7'alas (I just said what I thought is right).
This short conversation made me think for a while why we don't accept the others' cultures, beliefs and opinions if they are differnt from what we think is right. If I were in X's shoes I would give a simple "No" as an answer. Someone asked me a simple question and I should give a simple and relevant answer. It's not a debate about different cultures where I need to point out that WE are better than YOU because we have our customs and traditions that forbid having children outside marriage.
These thoughts revisited me after watching some random episodes from the Egyptian soap opera "Nostalgia- 7anan we 7aneen". I did not like the show anyway, but what really drew my attention is the idea of comparison between the American and Egyptian societies. The first few episodes started in USA where an Egyptian family of a man, his wife, his daughter and his brother in law moved to the USA twenty years ago. Througout these few episodes, the show makers did everything they could to show how terrible the American society is; how people only care about money and don't care about their families. It's been shown that it was not safe to have walk in the streets as the daughter and her friend were attacked by two guys who tried to rape them and they were saved by the cops who arrived in the last moment. The idea that life in the USA is terrible was summed up when the mother died when a bomb exploded in her restaurant (this happened shortly after she had given up her Egyptian nationality!!!!!!!).
After this accident the father takes his daughter and returns back to Egypt where life is totally different; people are so loving, nice and welcoming that their neighbours brought them "saneyet basboosa" (oriental desert) as a nice gesture on their arrival. All the following episodes kept exploring the fact that life in Egypt is much more safe, nice and full of deep meanings.
I am totally against the concept of generalization; that all other foriegn socities are bad and that our society is the best ever. I also think that this show is not real, for example these days if I moved to a new building, none of the neighbours will bring me a desert and to be honest if we got some new neighbours my mom will not bring them a desert. Many people say it is a romantic show which brings back some nice feelings and I say it is a fake show, anything that does not reflect reality , unless labeled "fiction", is fake for me.
I guess what really our TV shows should address is how to respect the others, how to accept them and how to learn from them what makes them succeed and excel instead of wasting our time crticizing the others and bragging that we are the best ever.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
The Five People You Meet in Heaven – Mitch Albom
I have recently read this book and it really touched me. It’s a novel about earth and heaven, life and death which tells us that death is not the end of everything and that what happens on earth is just the beginning. It’s a fiction novel that explores the idea that heaven is not a place; it’s an answer.
The Five People You Meet in Heaven describes what happens to Eddie after he died on his 83rd birthday. Eddie awakens in the afterlife where he learns that he will meet five people; beloved ones or total strangers who had an effect on his past life. Everyone who met Eddie in heaven teaches him a certain lesson. Each lesson gives him some answers to the questions he kept asking himself forever. The truth is finally revealed to him and he is able to make connections, build conclusions that enabled him to understand the meaning of his life on earth. After Eddie meets the five people he was supposed to meet in heaven, he no longer feels the anger, sadness and confusion that he once felt and his is soul is finally floats freely in heaven.
I am quoting some lines from each of the five lessons that Eddie learned in heaven:
There are no random acts. That we are all connected. That you can no more separate a life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind.
Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it. You’re passing it to someone else.
Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.
Lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.
He was nothing now, a leaf in the water, and she pulled him gently, through shadow and light, through shades of blue and ivory and lemon and black, and he realized all these colors, all along, were the emotions of his life.
The Five People You Meet in Heaven describes what happens to Eddie after he died on his 83rd birthday. Eddie awakens in the afterlife where he learns that he will meet five people; beloved ones or total strangers who had an effect on his past life. Everyone who met Eddie in heaven teaches him a certain lesson. Each lesson gives him some answers to the questions he kept asking himself forever. The truth is finally revealed to him and he is able to make connections, build conclusions that enabled him to understand the meaning of his life on earth. After Eddie meets the five people he was supposed to meet in heaven, he no longer feels the anger, sadness and confusion that he once felt and his is soul is finally floats freely in heaven.
I am quoting some lines from each of the five lessons that Eddie learned in heaven:
There are no random acts. That we are all connected. That you can no more separate a life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind.
Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it. You’re passing it to someone else.
Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.
Lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.
He was nothing now, a leaf in the water, and she pulled him gently, through shadow and light, through shades of blue and ivory and lemon and black, and he realized all these colors, all along, were the emotions of his life.
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