Losing friends is one of my worst experiences, specially when there is no specific reason for losing them. Four years ago I lost N, a close friend of mine from school. N and I had been friends (or shall I say sisters) for almost nine years. After school I did not meet N regularly but we kept in touch through the phone.
One day our school arranged a reunion party and I was so excited, I called N and told her I would go to the party and asked her if she was coming. N replied that she was not going to the party and when I asked her why she wouldn't come she said she did not feel like going to this party. I kept telling her that I had not seen her for a while and I thought the party would be a good chance to see her and gather with our old friends but she told me she would think about it.
In the party I kept waiting for N to show up but she never did. I tried to find an explanation for that but I could not, a few days after the party I decided to call N and tell her that the party was nice and I wished she had come. N apologized coldly for not showing up so I jokingly told her that everyone was there except for the SILLY ones. And that was the last time I hear anything from N. Ever since then she never answered my calls and whenever I called her at home I was told that she was not there and she never called me back.
I kept searching for an answer or an explanation to N's behavior, but I could not. I thought that she might have changed her beliefs, her lifestyle and thought that our friendship did not suit her anymore and I respected her wish. N never talked to me or any of our friends from school, she simply dropped us all from her life. Four years have passed and nobody knew anything about N. I try hardly not to think about her again but whenever I remeber anything from school N pops up on my mind and my eyes are filled with tears.
Three weeks ago, some girls from school who found each other on Facebook arranged a reunion outing. A friend of mine sent me an sms telling me about the outing and asked me if I would come, I told her I would not be in Cairo and apologized for not coming. I really wished I could make it to the outing as I wanted to meet the girls so badly. When I came back I asked my friend about the outing and she told me they had much fun and she wished I could make it, she also told me to check the photos on Facebook.
When I checked the photos I was surprised to find N with the girls. How did she know about the outing? What made her join this reunion? Did she know I was invited? Or did she join because she knew I would not be there? Did she ask them about me? Does this mean that she wants to be friends with us again? I kept asking myself these questions but could not find answers to any of them.
A week later I was again surprised when I found the "N has added you as a friend on Facebook" email in my inbox. What the heck does this mean? Does N want to be friends with me again? Is it that simple to go in and out of my life without explanations as if it were a public park? Does she regret cutting me out her life for no reason? I really don't know. Till now I can't confirm N as a friend on Facebook. I guess it requires more than a Facebook invitation to forgive N. I am not even sure that I am able to forgive her and resume our friendship after all these years.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
It really annoys me when
... I visit a friend's/ realtive's house and find that everybody drinks water directly from the bottle, I just get the feeling that I am trapped in the desert where thirst is not an option till I return home.
... an old friend of my dad's or one of my uncles call me "Wezza" (an old nickname of mine which means goose) in public.
... I open our refrigerator to find that all the water bottles are half-filled or quarter-filled, as if we were a stupid family that is cooling air instead of water.
... a male friend/colleague tells a dirty joke to another male friend/colleague in my presence and then looks at me and smiles in a stupid way and tells me"Of course you didn't understand a word". If you are a guy and think it is not appropriate to tell a dirty joke infront of ladies then don't, instead of telling them and assuming that the ladies will not understand.
... a friend of mine sits beside me and starts checking me out and then she starts telling me "You have a broken nail", "You've got a tan", "Don't you think your top is a bit revealing?", "You're applying too much eyeshadow". I feel I am bombarded with negative comments, I really don't mind when my friends tell me their comments but I guess one or two at a time is enough.
... someone smiles at me and I can see orange marks on their teeth and they have no problem with that at all. I feel I want to get them toothpaste and a toothbrush and ask them to brush their teeth before they ever think of smiling to me again.
... a girlfriend/ relative/ neighbour meets me, says hi and kisses me then she starts talking about her terrible flu and how she stayed in bed for the past couple of days. Why the heck do people insist on kissing each other while they are having a flu or any contagious disease?
... someone asks me a question to which the answer is my, my sister's, or a close friend's salary. I never ask people about their salaries and expect them not to ask me about mine, and if anyone does I never give a straight answer.
... someone carelessly damages anything that belongs to me and when I blame them for doing so, they look astonished and tell me its a cheap stuff and they can buy me another one instead. I really don't think that people should waste their money buying the same thing twice or thrice beacuse they can't use them carefully.
... I am writing something and someone sneaks up on me to check what I am writing, I do consider this an invasion of my personal space. If you are curious about my writing just ask me what I am writing and if I want to share it with you, I will.
... an old friend of my dad's or one of my uncles call me "Wezza" (an old nickname of mine which means goose) in public.
... I open our refrigerator to find that all the water bottles are half-filled or quarter-filled, as if we were a stupid family that is cooling air instead of water.
... a male friend/colleague tells a dirty joke to another male friend/colleague in my presence and then looks at me and smiles in a stupid way and tells me"Of course you didn't understand a word". If you are a guy and think it is not appropriate to tell a dirty joke infront of ladies then don't, instead of telling them and assuming that the ladies will not understand.
... a friend of mine sits beside me and starts checking me out and then she starts telling me "You have a broken nail", "You've got a tan", "Don't you think your top is a bit revealing?", "You're applying too much eyeshadow". I feel I am bombarded with negative comments, I really don't mind when my friends tell me their comments but I guess one or two at a time is enough.
... someone smiles at me and I can see orange marks on their teeth and they have no problem with that at all. I feel I want to get them toothpaste and a toothbrush and ask them to brush their teeth before they ever think of smiling to me again.
... a girlfriend/ relative/ neighbour meets me, says hi and kisses me then she starts talking about her terrible flu and how she stayed in bed for the past couple of days. Why the heck do people insist on kissing each other while they are having a flu or any contagious disease?
... someone asks me a question to which the answer is my, my sister's, or a close friend's salary. I never ask people about their salaries and expect them not to ask me about mine, and if anyone does I never give a straight answer.
... someone carelessly damages anything that belongs to me and when I blame them for doing so, they look astonished and tell me its a cheap stuff and they can buy me another one instead. I really don't think that people should waste their money buying the same thing twice or thrice beacuse they can't use them carefully.
... I am writing something and someone sneaks up on me to check what I am writing, I do consider this an invasion of my personal space. If you are curious about my writing just ask me what I am writing and if I want to share it with you, I will.
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